Why is Waiting on God So Hard?

Most of us don’t like waiting.

We are annoyed with lengthy checkout lines at the store, frustrated by long red lights, and (if you live in northern Indiana like me) depressed with the lingering of winter temperatures in the middle of April.

But we especially don’t like waiting on God. Of all the commands of Scripture, perhaps this is one of the hardest to obey. But the times and seasons for waiting on the Lord are many and varied. Scripture teaches us to wait on the Lord for guidance (Psalm 25:5), deliverance (Psalm 33:20), answers to prayer (Psalm 38:15), strength (Isaiah 40:31), and fresh assurance of God’s pardon and forgiveness (Psalm 130:5-6).

Of course, we want these things now. Our needs seem urgent. We want immediate answers. That’s why waiting is so hard.

How to Wait

Waiting on the Lord is difficult, but it isn’t a passive activity. It’s not like waiting on your dentist or waiting for surgery, where you perhaps feel dread but little else. Waiting on the Lord is an act of faith. 

The 17th century pastor John Owen compared waiting on the Lord to sailors at sea who were at a great distance from land and beset with storms, yet were sustained in hope by the glimpse of land on the distant horizon. What does it mean to wait? Owen, who was writing specifically about waiting on the Lord for the assurance of forgiveness and pardon, highlights three things: quietness, diligence, and expectancy.

To read more, go to my monthly column at Christianity.com. 

Why Only Baptized Christians Should Take Communion

This is my latest article from Christianity.com.

In a recent worship service in our church, I invited all “baptized believers” to join us at the Lord’s Table. That prompted a question from several people: why say, “baptized believers?” Is baptism really a prerequisite for taking communion?

Of course, not all churches would answer this in the same way. But the majority of Christians throughout history have believed that only baptized people should participate in Eucharistic meal. I think it’s a biblical position, and here’s why.

Two Sacraments: Baptism and the Lord’s Table

There are two sacraments given to the church, baptism and the Lord's Table, but these serve different functions.[i]

Baptism is a one time event that signifies: 

•   identification with Christ,

•   initiation into the Christian faith, and

•   entrance into the Christian church. 

Lots of passages point this way, and I won't list them all, but think for example about the Great Commission (we are commanded to make disciples, baptizing them in the name of Father, Son, and Spirit – Matt. 28:19), or multiple references in Acts, where people are baptized in the name of Jesus (Acts 2:39, 8:16; 10:48), or the Epistles, where Paul speaks of being baptized into Christ and into the body (Gal. 3:27; Rom. 6:5). Consider especially 1 Cor. 12:13 where Paul says that by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body. In other words, baptism is what identifies someone with Christ and unites someone to the church. We also see this in Acts 2, where people repent, believe, and are baptized and thus are "added" to the church (Acts 2:38-41). 

The Lord's Table, on the other hand, is an ongoing, repeatable event (“as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup do this in remembrance of me”) that signifies:

•   fellowship with Christ, 

•   continuance in the Christian faith, 

•   and unity with the Christian church. 

This is especially clear in 1 Cor. 10:16-17, where Paul says, “The cup of blessing that we bless, is it not a participation in the blood of Christ? The bread that we break, is it not a participation in the body of Christ? Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake of the one bread.” This shows us that communion involves both a special fellowship (“participation”) with Jesus and symbolizes our unity with the “one body” of Christ (“we who are many are one body”).

The Sequence: Baptism Precedes Communion

So, while baptism is an initial profession of faith, the Lord's Table is an ongoing, continual, and repeated renewal of faith. But isn’t it dishonest for someone to participate in a renewal of faith, if they've never professed faith in baptism to start with?

Communion is also something of a pledge of renewed trust in Christ and obedience to him (which is one reason why Paul warns against eating or drinking unworthily in 1 Cor. 11:27). But it would be pretense for someone to take communion when they have not even taken the first step of obedience to Jesus in baptism. 

Then there's also the biblical pattern. The sequence is always baptism first, followed by communion. So in Acts 2, for example, it is only those who are baptized and added to the church in verse 41 who then participate in the breaking of bread in verse 42. In 1 Corinthians, when Paul talks at length about communion (in chapter 11), the assumption from earlier in the letter (chapter 1) is that he is writing to baptized Christians. There are no examples in Acts or the Epistles of unbaptized people taking communion. 

Add to this the witness of the church through the ages. While historical creeds and confessions don't settle the matter (Scripture does that!), they do give us some clear benchmarks for understanding how the church has historically understood doctrine. And from what I can tell, the majority of churches have either taught or assumed that baptism should precede communion. Of course, there are significant disagreements about the mode and timing of baptism – but almost all agree that baptism, however it is understood, must come first.

So, that’s why I invited “baptized believers” to share in the Table at our church. Stating it this way is helpful for a couple reasons. First of all, it’s a helpful reminder for parents that their kids should be baptized before taking communion. It’s also helpful for seekers and non-Christians who need a concrete way of discerning whether they are really converted Christians or not. Of course, being baptized itself doesn't make someone a Christian or necessarily prove they are. But making a public profession under the authority of a local church who affirms the reality of someone's conversion is an important step and a good safeguard against self-deception.

Their Significance: Making the Gospel Visible

Finally, let’s never forget that both baptism and the Lord’s Table are given by the Lord to make the gospel visible to the church and the world.

Baptism points to the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus. It’s a dramatic reenactment of the humiliation and exaltation of our Lord that signifies our union with him through faith. “Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life” (Rom. 6:3-4). Baptism publicly declares that what is true of Christ is also true of all who trust in him. His story is our story, in his death we also died, and through his resurrection we receive life made new. 

The Lord’s Table, likewise, “proclaims the Lord’s death until he comes” (1 Cor. 11:26). When we eat the broken bread and drink the fruit of the vine, we taste and see that the crucified and risen Savior is gracious and good. We embody our faith through the everyday acts of eating and drinking, showing that just as we’re dependent on bread for physical nourishment and strength, so also we trust in Christ and his finished work alone for salvation, spiritual life, and strength.

---

[i] I owe some of my ideas for this article to Jeremy Keever, whose thoughtful blog post on “Should I Take Communion if I Haven’t Been Baptized?” was helpful for me.   http://differentway4kids.blogspot.com/2011/03/should-i-take-communion-if-i-havent.html. Accessed March 15, 2013. 

John Owen on the Work of the Spirit in Prayer

In the double interests of going deeper in some of my favorite theologians and trying to strengthen my own prayer life, I've recently been reading John Owen's The Work of the Holy Spirit in Prayer. This 116 page treatise is actually the seventh out of nine "books" in Owen's magnum opus Pneumatologia: A Discourse Concerning the Holy Spirit. 

Because it is situated within the larger framework of Owen's pneumatology, it has a fairly narrow focus as far as prayer is concerned. 

It is nothing close to an exhaustive treatment of prayer in general (although everything by Owen feels exhaustive - and sometimes exhausting - in comparison with most contemporary writing!), but rather a study of the Holy Spirit's particular role in prayer. 

I'd like to write a more thorough summary of the book, but that's going to take more time than I presently have. So, in the interests of sharing at least some of what I've been learning from Owen, here's a shorter post on just one part of Owen's book.

In chapter six, having already discussed the matter of prayer, Owen takes up the role of the Spirit in the manner of prayer and outlines four specific things the Spirit does in helping us to pray as we should. 

And, in typical Owenian (and Puritan) fashion, there are also a few sub-points along the way! 

In what follows, I've paraphrased Owen, except when direct quotes are used. All the quotes are from volume 4 of Owen's Works. 

I. The Spirit works on our wills and affections. 

He not only enables us to pray, he also gives us affections suited to the things we pray about. "And in this work of the Spirit lies the fountain of that inexpressible fervency and delight, of those enlarged labourings of mind and desires, which are in the prayers of believers, especially when they are under the power of more than ordinary influences from him." (p. 288) 

Owen's main Scriptural support for this comes from Romans 8:26-27, where Paul writes about the Spirit's intercession for us with groanings that cannot be uttered. Owen understands this to be "nothing but his working in us and acting by us that frame of heart and those fervent, labouring desires, which are so expressed, and these with such depth of intension and labouring of mind as cannot be uttered." (p. 288). I'm not sure this is the only thing meant by the Spirit's intercession, but surely Owen's general point stands. 

II. The Spirit works in the soul an "inward labouring of heart and spirit," that is, a "holy, supernatural desire and endeavor." (p. 288) 

This point seems somewhat coextensive with the first. And, in fact, Owen's following exposition is primarily focused on distinguishing the intercessory work of the Spirit in Romans 8:26-27 from the intercessory work of Christ in Romans 8:34. 

But I think Owen here intends to describe the Spirit's work in giving us earnestness in prayer, whereas the first point had more to do with the affections themselves. Think of point #1 as having to do with the kind of affections we need, and point #2 with their degree. 

III. The Spirit gives the believer "a delight in God as the object of prayer." (p. 290) 

Owen now has in mind a very specific and necessary kind of affection, which he further characterizes as a "a filial, holy delight in God...such as children have in their parents in their most affection addresses unto them" (p. 291). ("Filial," by the way, is an obscure word that means "befitting a son or daughter.") 

This is what Paul means when he says that the Spirit causes us to cry out "Abba, Father." 

This kind of delight is important, according to Owen, because "without it ordinarily the duty of prayer is not accepted with God, and is a barren, burdensome task unto them by whom it is performed" (p. 290-291).

Owen then discusses three things included in this delight. 

(1) "A sight or prospect of God as on a throne of grace." 

See Hebrews 4:16

Owen further clarifies that this prospect is by "spiritual illumination" or faith, and that it the throne of grace is the holy place which we enter into with boldness through the blood of Jesus. See Hebrews 10:19. "God, therefore, on a throne of grace is God as in a readiness through Jesus Christ to dispense grace and mercy to suppliant sinners." 

This is Owen at his gospel-centered best. He is showing us how the Triune persons of the Godhead work together in relation to prayer. The Spirit gives us access to the Father through the Son. See Ephesians 2:18. In Owen's words, "it is the work of the Spirit, who alone, in and through Christ, revealeth God unto us, and enableth us to discern him in a due manner . . . All the acquaintance which we have with God, in a way of grace, is from the revelation made in us by his Spirit" (p. 292).

(2) "Unto this delight is required a sense of God's relation unto us as a Father." 

See 2 Corinthians 6:18, Ephesians 2:18, and Romans 8:16

"There is nothing more essential" to the duty of prayer than this: that "we address ourselves unto God under the notion of a Father; that is, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, and in him our Father also. Without this we cannot have that holy delight in this duty which is required in us, and the want whereof  ordinarily ruins our designs in it." In other words, without the faith-fueled delight of a child in God as our Father, prayer is ruined. 

But the only way to get this kind of child-like delight in the Father is from the Holy Spirit. 

(3) The third characteristic of this delight in God is boldness. 

See Hebrews 10:19, 22

This boldness includes both (a) "freedom of speech" (2 Corinthians 3:17) and (b) "confidence of acceptance." 

• "Freedom of speech" is the ability of the heart to "express all its concerns unto God as a child unto its father." 

• And by "confidence of acceptance" Owen means not the assurance that we'll get every single thing we ask for, but rather the "holy persuasion that God is well pleased" with our prayers and accepts us when we come to his throne. 

IV. The Spirit keeps believers focused on Jesus Christ "as the only way and means of acceptance with God." 

See John 16:16, Ephesians 2:18, Romans 5:2, and Galatians 4:6

The Spirit of God is "the Spirit of the Son." He has been sent to glorify Christ in our hearts. And it is because of his work in our hearts that we call out to God as Father. "And hereof believers have a refreshing experience in themselves; nor doth any thing leave a better savour or relish in their souls than when they have had their hearts and minds kept close, in the exercise of faith, on Christ the mediator in their prayers" (p. 296).

Summary

So, how does the Spirit work in our prayers? 

• He inclines our wills and stirs our affections towards God
• He gives us earnestness in seeking God 
• He gives us delight in God as our Father and boldness to approach his throne of grace
• He keeps us focused on Christ as the sole means of approaching God 

So, if you want a diagnostic tool for your prayer life, try asking these questions: 

• Am I relying on the Spirit to incline my heart to God?
• Am I trusting in the Spirit to make me earnest in prayer? 
• Am I approaching God's gracious throne with the free and delightful boldness of an accepted child? 
• Am I trusting in Christ alone to give me access to God? 

John Calvin on Spiritual Warfare

All that Scripture teaches concerning devils aims at arousing us to take precaution against their stratagems and contrivances, and also to make us equip ourselves with those weapons which are strong and powerful enough to vanquish these most powerful foes.

For when Satan is called the god [II Cor. 4:4] and prince [John 12:31] of this world, when he is spoken of as a strong armed man [Luke 11:21; cf. Matt. 12:29], the spirit who holds power over the air [Eph. 2:2], a roaring lion [I Peter 5:8], these descriptions serve only to make us more cautious and watchful, and thus more prepared to take up the struggle.

This also sometimes is noted explicitly: for Peter, after he has said that the devil "prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour" [I Peter 5:8], immediately subjoins the exhortation that with faith we steadfastly resist him [I Peter 5:9]. And Paul, after he has warned us that our struggle is not with flesh and blood, but with the princes of the air, with the powers of darkness, and spiritual wickedness [Eph. 6:12], forthwith bids us put on that armor capable of sustaining so great and dangerous a contest [Eph. 6:13ff].
We have been forewarned that an enemy relentlessly threatens us, an enemy who is the very embodiment of rash boldness, of military prowess, of crafty wiles, of untiring zeal and haste, of every conceivable weapon and of skill in the science of warfare.
We must, then, bend our every effort to this goal: that we should not let ourselves be overwhelmed by carelessness or faintheartedness, but on the contrary, with courage rekindled stand our ground in combat. Since this military service ends only at death, let us urge ourselves to perseverance.
Indeed, conscious of our weakness and ignorance, let us especially call upon God's help, relying upon him alone in whatever we attempt, since it is he alone who can supply us with counsel and strength, courage and armor.
--John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, 1.15.13. (Philadelphia: Westminster John Knox Press, 2011 edition), pp. 172-173. 

Jonathan Edwards on "Man's highest happiness"

This was too good not to share: 

"Man's highest happiness consists in holiness. It is by this the reasonable creature is united to God, the fountain of all good. Happiness does so essentially consist in knowing and loving and serving God, and having a holy and divine temper of soul, and the lively exercises of it, that those things will make a man happy without anything else. But no other enjoyments or privileges whatever will make a man happy without this."

Jonathan Edwards, Charity and Its Fruits, Sermon 2, Point III, Section 5. Ethical Writings, Ed. Paul Ramsey, The Works of Jonathan Edwards, vol. 8. New Haven, Conn. Yale University Press, 1989, p. 161. 

Cured from the Contagion of Sin

A couple of years ago, my wife and I went to see the disturbingly interesting film Contagion, which has been described as a “medical thriller disaster” movie. Directed by Steven Soderbergh, the film is about the rapid spread of a virus that results in a pandemic, until a team of researchers are finally able to produce a vaccine. 

One of my friends who did his graduate work in infectious diseases said the film did a good job with the science, except the discovery of the vaccine was unrealistically fast. That’s pretty scary and enough to turn any normal person into a germaphobe. Maybe that movie wasn’t the best choice for a date night, after all. 

The Contagion of Sin 

As scary as infectious diseases are, there’s a more deadly virus that you and I already have – the sin virus. As the 16th Century Reformer John Calvin wrote in his Institutes of the Christian Religion, "all of us, who have descended from impure seed, are born infected with the contagion of sin.” 

 Read the rest here, at Christianity.com 

The Woman, the Dragon, and the Child

Another Christmas season has come and gone. The last remaining decorations have been packed away for next year. Many people heard the wonderful story of Christ’s incarnation, and some understood it for the very first time. But the version of the Christmas story that most haven’t heard, the one that even many Christians don’t seem to understand is the one found in Revelation 12.

It is this account that guards Matthew’s and Luke’s from the dangers of sentimentality. It keeps our vision of the incarnation from getting dislodged from the broader drama of redemption. And it reminds us that Christ’s Advent to earth was nothing less than a strategic, decisive military move in the raging cosmic battle between darkness and light. This is the full-orbed Christmas story that we need reminding of all year round.

Let’s look at this passage, think about the cast of characters, and then ponder three important lessons for today.

And a great sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet, and on her head a crown of twelve stars. 2 She was pregnant and was crying out in birth pains and the agony of giving birth. 3 And another sign appeared in heaven: behold, a great red dragon, with seven heads and ten horns, and on his heads seven diadems. 4 His tail swept down a third of the stars of heaven and cast them to the earth. And the dragon stood before the woman who was about to give birth, so that when she bore her child he might devour it. 5 She gave birth to a male child, one who is to rule all the nations with a rod of iron, but her child was caught up to God and to his throne, 6 and the woman fled into the wilderness, where she has a place prepared by God, in which she is to be nourished for 1,260 days. 7 Now war arose in heaven, Michael and his angels fighting against the dragon. And the dragon and his angels fought back, 8 but he was defeated, and there was no longer any place for them in heaven. 9 And the great dragon was thrown down, that ancient serpent, who is called the devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world—he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him. 10 And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, “Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God. 11 And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death. 12 Therefore, rejoice, O heavens and you who dwell in them! But woe to you, O earth and sea, for the devil has come down to you in great wrath, because he knows that his time is short!” 13 And when the dragon saw that he had been thrown down to the earth, he pursued the woman who had given birth to the male child. 14 But the woman was given the two wings of the great eagle so that she might fly from the serpent into the wilderness, to the place where she is to be nourished for a time, and times, and half a time. 15 The serpent poured water like a river out of his mouth after the woman, to sweep her away with a flood. 16 But the earth came to the help of the woman, and the earth opened its mouth and swallowed the river that the dragon had poured from his mouth. 17 Then the dragon became furious with the woman and went off to make war on the rest of her offspring, on those who keep the commandments of God and hold to the testimony of Jesus. And he stood on the sand of the sea. (Revelation 12:1-17)

There are three main characters in this passage: the woman, the dragon, and the child.

The woman (described in vv. 1-2) is clothed with the sun, with the moon is beneath her feet, and seven stars crowning her head. Who is she? Probably not Mary, but Israel. Verse 2 has clear echoes of Genesis 37, the passage about Joseph’s dream where the twelve stars represented the twelve sons of Jacob. John seems to be identifying this woman with Israel, God’s covenant people. The woman’s pregnancy and agonizing birth pangs point to the sufferings of God’s people as they awaited the Messiah, but also deeply resonated with the suffering saints who originally read Revelation.

Verse 3 introduces another character, a “great red dragon” possessed of both worldly power (all those heads and crowns!) and deep, unrelenting hatred and hostility towards the woman and her child. If it wasn’t already clear, verse 9 removes all doubt: the dragon is “the ancient serpent” the devil himself, “Satan, the deceiver of the whole world.” This not only identifies him with the serpent in Genesis 3, but also shows his antagonism towards God’s people, and especially towards the child of the woman, whom he seeks to devour.

And who might this child be? Read verse 5 again:“She gave birth to a male child, one who is to rule all the nations with a rod of iron, but her child was caught up to God and to his throne.” This, of course, is Jesus the Messiah.

So what’s going on here? This passage uses heavily symbolic language to describe Satan’s attempts to destroy the Christ. Remember the massacre in Bethlehem? Remember the forty days in the wilderness? Remember the crucifixion?

But John is sounding another note as well. He says that this child rules the nations with a rod of iron (quoting Psalm 2) and is snatched up to God and his throne. Far from being destroyed by the dragon, this child shares the throne of God! This child is none other than Jesus the Christ (v. 10), the crucified Lamb (v. 11), the resurrected, exalted, and enthroned King.

But what does it all mean? Revelation is notoriously difficult to understand – so weird, in fact, that most of us just avoid it altogether. And yet, it is still God’s word for the church. And though interpreters may disagree on some of the details, the main point is clear and contains three very important lessons for us.

1. First, this passage points us to the defeat of evil in the incarnation, suffering, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Though the passage begins with a war in heaven (v. 4a, expanded in vv. 7-9), the dragon is defeated and thrown down! The details of the passage hint first at the primordial defeat of Satan, when he was first thrown out of heaven (vv. 7-9). Then verses 10-11 proclaim his decisive defeat, as a loud voice proclaims:

Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God. 11 And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.

Satan is conquered, vanquished, defeated! How? By the blood of the Lamb! This points us to the cross. That’s where the decisive victory was won, and because Christ conquered Satan there, the “devil knows his time is short” (v. 12). He’s like a feisty snake pinned to the ground by a huge boulder, waiting for the sharp blade of a hoe to finally take his head off once and for all. Yes, his bite is still poisonous – but his power is limited and will soon come to an end.

And that means that evil can be defeated right here and right now, in your heart and mine, today. Wesley understood this well, writing,

Come, Desire of nations, come,
Fix in us Thy humble home;
Rise, the woman’s conqu’ring Seed,
Bruise in us the serpent’s head.

2. This passage also shows us how God preserves the church through suffering. This story, written to the suffering church (remember, Christians were still being fed to the lions in those days), is all about the suffering church at the hands of Satan. In keeping with his war against heaven, and his hostility towards Jesus at his birth, Satan is depicted as the serpentine dragon who continues to pursue and persecute the people of God. You can see this as he chases her into the wilderness in verse 14, tries to carry her away with a flood in verse 15, and unleashes his fury against the woman and her offspring in verse 17.

But through it all, God preserves his people! Though the woman is chased into the wilderness, God has prepared a place for her and she is actually “nourished.” He gives her “eagle’s wings,” almost definitely a reference to the original exodus, when God rescued his suffering people from Egypt (see Ex. 19:4; Deut. 32:11).

But God not only rescues and nourishes his people; he also puts a limit on their suffering, which is probably the point of the 1,260 days. I know some think this is a literal 3 ½ years of tribulation. Maybe, maybe not. But either way, don’t let that distract you from the main point. This number, whatever else it may mean, shows us that the suffering of the church is temporary, short, and limited.

3. Finally, this passage shows us how to communicate the gospel to our world. I don’t mean that we need to speak about a red dragon and a conquering child (though, that’s not a bad idea!). So, what do I mean?

Well, biblical scholars point out that John was using symbolism and imagery that was very well known in the ancient world. People were very familiar with pagan stories about the conflict between a dragon and a child. What seems strange to us was as embedded in their cultural folklore as the stories of Jack and the Beanstalk or Tolkien’s Hobbit and Lord of the Rings are in ours. But John was investing this mythology with new meaning and significance.[1]

This is what C. S. Lewis meant when he talked about myth becoming fact. This is part of our job. We’ve got to learn how to take the mythologies and stories of our culture and show people that it is only in Jesus that we see the ultimate fulfillment of the deep hopes and yearnings that lurk beneath our greatest myths and stories.  Wesley, once again, got it right in one of his Advent hymns:

Israel's strength and consolation,
hope of all the earth thou art;
dear desire of every nation,
joy of every longing heart.

This article was written for www.Christianity.com

[1] Grant Osborne says, “The purpose of this is evangelistic, to say that what the Greeks have known only as myth has now been actualized in history…What the pagans longed for in their myths has now become true in Jesus. Therefore, the form is both deliberate and brilliant, using what in our time has been called a ‘redemptive analogy’ to present the gospel in such a way as the capture the interest and hearts of the non-Christian reader.” Grant Osborne, Revelation: Baker Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament (Grand Rapids: Baker, 2002) p. 454.

My Journey into Joy: A Lyrical Reflection on How I Became a Christian Hedonist

Earlier this week, I attended the Desiring God Conference for Pastors and really enjoyed John Piper's stirring talk, "Saying Beautifully As a Way of Seeing Beauty: The Life of George Herbert and His Poetic Effort."

The talk inspired me to (1) do more reading of Herbert on my own (I've enjoyed Herbert's poetry off and on through the years, and am now working through A Year with George Herbert: A Guide to Fifty-Two of His Best Loved Poems); and (2) dust off a poem of my own, written fifteen or sixteen years ago.

It's of course nothing close to quality of George Herbert's poetry, but as I reread it today, I was pleased with the assonance and rhyme of the poem and its effectiveness in communicating my own experience. I think the meter could use a little work in a couple of places, and I know there are a few lines that are too...sentimental? corny? or just a little forced?

Nevertheless, I'm taking the leap and putting this out there for all the world (well, at least the two or three dozen people who actually follow this blog!) to see.

My Journey into Joy: A Lyrical Reflection on How I Became a Christian Hedonist 

I rehearse the verse before me

To tell about my journey

Into a new philosophy

            That has changed my paradigm.

It's about a quest for pleasure

A search for lasting treasure

Of joy that's without measure

            That increases beyond time.

I see the first small fraction

Of my thirst for satisfaction

From the beauty and attraction

            Of a God that's glorious

In the pursuit of childhood joys

Through games and friends and toys

That seemed without alloys

            In those youthful days of bliss.

Memories in my mind do swarm

Back beyond the country farm

To fun sought without harm

            Though insufficient to suffice;

And to the waking days of teen

When I found my soul was lean

And childhood games were not as keen

            Though once they did entice.

And so I sought for other things

Thinking that they would bring

The endless pleasure that would sing

            Inside my deepest heart.

Perhaps success would fill my life,

Or maybe a person (a wife!)

Would cause to cease the strife      

            That tore my soul apart.

But all to no avail!

Each "greater thing" grew pale,

And seemed nothing but a tale,

            That held no authentic meaning.

For in all this desperate seeking

I found broken cisterns leaking

With emptiness yet sneaking

            Upon the next-sought dream.

I slowly, gradually realized

That I had often idolized

The things that had mesmerized

            My soul, and promised mirth.

I began to seek repentance

Mixed with broken penitence

For placing such significance

            On the trifles of the earth.

But the process was a gradual one

With steps and misteps and some

Outright departures from

            The Lord who promised peace;

The path to joyful blessing

Was one of slow progressing

And not a little regressing

            To the worldly ways of ease.           

In thoughts of retrospect I'm viewing

The Good Hand of Providence wooing

My sinful heart, and renewing

            The thoughts of my mind.

I see Him stealthily speeding

Into my heart by leading

Me through Scripture reading

            To prospects of the glory I would find.

An insight of truth I would discover

A gem of beauty I'd uncover

About the Lord, my Eternal Lover

            The One Who seeks my best.

From James I wrote a reflection

On the purpose of tribulation

How it yields perfection

            To those who beneath it rest.

In Psalm thirty-seven four

I got a glimpse of more

That would cause my heart to soar

            About desire and it's slaking.

And then in Jeremiah two thirteen

Another puzzle piece was seen

That showed me how my heart was keen

            On sinful cisterns of human making.

A pilgrim, along this path I trod

When a hymn was also used by God

To wean my soul from earth and prod

            Me closer to Him (Oh, His grace!)

'Twas of Christ, the soul's true desire

(Though others after earth aspire)

And seeking to His worth admire

            While gazing on His face.

A little later I found a book

And by surprise my mind it took

And made me at my soul to look

            And re-assess my creed.

I found that I had become a Stoic

Because I thought it more heroic

To seek God's praise while apathetic

            To my own pleasure and my need.

From John Piper I learned that day

That joyless worship is not God's way,

Because it fails His glory to display

            When I do not seek Him for my pleasure.

For if He's glorious, I'll in Him find,

Enough beauty to satisfy the mind

And take my wandering heart and bind

            Me to him as my treasure.

The truth in all its grandeur

Shined forth in noontide splendor

And touched my heart now tender

            In a way I'd never known:

That God is in me most glorified

When I am in Him most satisfied

And this my quest for joy intensified

            And drew me to His throne.

Now insights in my mind still race

As I behold the wonder of His grace

That causes me to seek His face

            And find my joy in Him.

This joy I've learned will never cease

But throughout eternity will increase

In boundless discovery of the glories

            Of God my satisfaction.

I'm still learning to apply

This wondrous truth that sanctifies

My soul from sin and magnifies

            His great and glorious name.

But though imperfect in my action

God's filled me with a holy passion

That springs from the majestic vision

            Of God, Who is Ever-Same.

Let me conclude by speaking forth

In my own words this glorious truth

About my joy and God's worth

            That I have come to treasure:

God's glory is His great delight

Which He pursues with all His might

By causing us to set our sight

            On Him - Our eternal pleasure.

2012 Reading: The Highlight Reel

It's been awhile since I've written anything specifically for this blog, so thought I'd kick off the new year with a highlight reel of my reading in 2012. Maybe this will give you ideas for your own reading and study in 2013.

I read several books for the first time last year that were spiritually enriching. Rebecca Konyndyk DeYoung's Glittering Vices: A New Look at the Seven Deadly Sins and Their Remedies is a beautifully written, deeply informed, and powerfully convicting take on the traditional seven deadly sins, or "capital vices," first catalogued by Evagrius, John Cassian, and Gregory the Great. This book was something of a catalyst for digging much deeper into the vast literature on the capital sins that will lead to a series of sermons and hopefully a book of my own.

Another book that was truly beneficial was Gerald Sittser's Water from a Deep Well: Christian Spirituality from Early Martyrs to Modern Missionaries. Sittser has an amazing grasp of the full swath of Christian history and, while writing from a solid Evangelical perspective, draws enriching insights for spiritual life today from all these varied traditions. This book isn't just a great read, it's a wonderful introduction to many other books and will serve as a reference manual for my reading for years to come.

Michael Reeves' Delighting in the Trinity: An Introduction to the Christian Faith is a delightful book, and not just because of its title! Reeves writes with both jocularity and profundity (that means he's both funny and deep) - two qualities that aren't easily combined. He's a great teacher and this is a great book that takes readers right to the heart of the Christian faith, while managing to introduce a fair bit of church history along the way. I loved this book! I hope you'll read it. (It would be a great companion, by the way, to my other favorite book on the Trinity, Fred Sanders' The Deep Things of God: How the Trinity Changes Everything.)

One of my long term goals is to read through the complete Works of John Owen, and last year I finally finished reading volume three on The Holy Spirit. Contrary to what some people may think, I don't read particularly fast, and the Puritans especially take time. But I always find it worth the effort, even if it takes me several years to complete a volume (as was the case with this one). There are some real gems tucked away in this book, which is really the first four of six books, which together make up Owen's Pneumatologia, a magnum opus on the Holy Spirit that is probably still unsurpassed in English.   Here's my favorite quote (which, incidentally, shows that a gospel-centered approach to holiness is not a 21st century fad): "Holiness is nothing but the implanting, writing, and realizing of the gospel in our souls."

It's no secret that my other favorite writer is C. S. Lewis and a couple of books on Lewis deserve mention. Besides rereading several of Lewis's books, I also read for the first time Lyle Dorsett's Seeking the Secret Place: The Spiritual Formation of C. S. Lewis, Corbin Scott Carnell's Bright Shadow of Reality: Spiritual Longing in C. S. Lewis, and David Downing's Planets in Peril: A Critical Study of C. S. Lewis's Ransom Trilogy. Each was excellent, but if you just want to pick one, read Dorsett.

The most helpful book I read related to pastoral work and ministry was, hands down, Tim Keller's Center Church: Doing Balanced, Gospel-Centered Ministry in Your City. This may be the longest contemporary book on pastoral ministry I've read, being almost 400 double-columned pages long, but it is also one of the best. Contrary to many books with the word "church" in the title, this isn't a step-by-step guide on how to introduce a program that will revolutionize church life. Don't read this book if you're looking for silver bullets. Instead, Keller presents a comprehensive theological vision for ministry that requires rigorous thought, personalization, and application. Few people could read this book without being rebuked and challenged on some front or another. But it's also a very hopeful book that both stretches your thinking and lifts your gaze to God himself. Must reading for any church leader.

Bruce Gordon's Calvin is the best biography I read last year. Critical, yet sympathetic, this is a book that introduces you to Calvin the man, rather than Calvin the legend. The result, for me at least, was both increased respect on one hand, and the sense that I might not have liked Calvin that much if I actually met him, on the other! His tirelessness and personal sacrifice for the gospel were certainly commendable and inspiring. But some of Calvin's other character traits are much less attractive. This is exactly the kind of biography I like and think we need. It's honest and shows that even one of our greatest heroes had feet, and maybe calves and thighs, of clay. No hagiography here.

My favorite novel of last year was Alan Paton's beautiful Cry, the Beloved Country, one of the best pieces of literature to come out of South Africa. It's a book about racism, fear, injustice, and grace. It will make you cry. I could barely put it down and look forward to reading more from this author. Honorable mentions for fiction: The Children of Men by P. D. James (great dystopian science fiction, with theological themes), and Bram Stoker's classic Dracula (which is a far cry from Twilight. In Stoker, vampires are evil).

Finally, over the past couple of years I've taken my lifelong love for superheroes a step forward by reading a number of graphic novels. Two of my favorites are Jeph Loeb's Batman: The Long Halloween (one of the inspiration's for Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight Trilogy) and Mark Waid & Alex Ross's Kingdom Come, which is worth reading for the art alone, although it's a great apocalyptic story as well.

What did you read in 2012? What books would you recommend for me and others?