This is a poem written by Michael and Katie Hull and Chuck and Kristen Lawrence for our church Christmas party last week. It's a fairly comprehensive review of the events of the year, with quite a few cheap shots at yours truly. (They were gracious enough to give me advance veto powers, and I appreciate the consideration!) Enjoy.
O Fulkerson, O Fulkerson,
This poem is for you.
Please allow us in verse
To give you the year in review.
Expository preaching is our mantra here.
That’s why Ephesians took us all of two whole years.
Every week he labors to teach us all the truth,
Making application to both old and youth.
An expository preaching seminar we had.
Brian told us all, why our preaching’s bad!
The meaning of the passage is the message of the sermon;
When you teach on Sunday, leave out all the extra vermin.
VBS came that summer and who could forget,
Leader Wes suggested that we all bring mosquito nets.
We were time-stone travelers looking for clues,
That taught us commandments and shared the Good News!
Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, and Numbers,
We have seen Christ in each, and all that easily encumbers
I am glad all the rules don’t directly apply;
Clean and unclean—so many laws, I think I would cry!
Chuck, I’ve never liked you,
Because you’re into biology!
Well that’s okay, Sir Michael,
Because you’re a chemistry dweeb!
Now boys, now boys,
Can’t we all just get along?
We’re thankful for Ken Sande
Who helps us sing a peaceful song.
Peacemaker, Peacemaker, that is what we’ve learned.
Glorify God first that peace may now return.
Get the log out of your eye.
Then go restore him to your own side.
Announcements, prayer requests, words of praise,
Send it out on BodyLife
If you have not yet subscribed,
Go talk to Scott, he’ll give you strife.
Four men traversed the Atlantic Ocean
To teach the twelve of the Word,
These pastors came from distant lands
And in their Christian life were onward spurned.
Nevermore, nevermore, O Religious Affections,
In that tote which was lost along the way
That someone would yet find this piece of luggage
And restore to us our favorite Puritan we pray.
Wes then taught us of a Nehemiah and his wall,
We all looked around and saw a great need, so Wes gave us a call.
Our food pantry was bare—no food and no coats,
No longer empty, but the need remains for even rolled oats.
We took a special offering for a projector,
And now we no longer have to have a paper collector.
The equipment was hung in the auditorium with care,
Now, we can sing with our heads in the air!
Matt Ernsperger, he went north;
Karen Tolleson she went east.
We’re thankful for our missionaries,
For others they do reach.
Our church is full of children, just take a look around.
After nearly every service, you can hear their playful sounds.
Many running active boys, but fewer sweet little girls.
But many new young couples, maybe they’ll give it a whirl.
The Harvest Festival was great; it was a huge success.
We had a donut-eating contest. Oh my, what a mess!
We won’t name the victors, for they may blush with shame.
Eating lots of donuts, who thought of such a game!
Apple-bobbing, pumpkin painting,
Lots of games were played.
The treasure hunt was lots of fun,
With prizes to display.
Small groups have been in session,
For longer than a year.
If you want to join,
There’s a sign-up in the rear.
The worship team is great—adding members by the day,
We have strings and keys and singers who play.
We are so grateful for all the time that they spend,
So we can enter His gates and let our worship ascend.
Christian hedonists we strive to be,
By quoting John Piper constantly.
Bethlehem conferences we do attend,
And reading his books without end.
Influential on Brian’s life he has been,
By teaching God’s glory without end.
Books for sale out in the lobby,
Read them all not just as a hobby.
From money to glory to the Christian life story,
Each week Brian proclaims the large inventory.
He says read three this week as last I read ten
But lucky I’ll be to finish half by then
Prayer week—“What’s that?”—Spiritual aerobics!
“Unity, love, hope and worship, are some of the topics.
We are going to pray as a body should often,
So come and join us, January 7-13, the doors will be open!”
The church has been on budget most of this past year.
It’s had those who count the money leading out the cheer.
In the black, not the red is what the church hopes to see.
And most enthusiastically is Mark Wuthnow singing out with glee.
Money talks about us, so we have been taught.
It reveals our true beliefs, just look at what you’ve bought.
Giving for the kingdom, that should be our motto.
You don’t really need to drive the latest auto.
O Fulkerson, O Fulkerson, we thank you for this year.
Sweet memories of laughs and tears are something we all share.
But growth in Christ, and love for Him are something greater still,
We know not what the new year holds, as we continue in His will.